After a long pause, I opened with "Things have been pretty good. We are getting along and spending time together, but there is still a lot of tension in the air when we are together because of the emotions that we are both feeling". After the inevitable question "What feelings?" I talked briefly about how I felt angry, both with her and with myself, but that the anger had mostly dissapated. I talked about my fear of the damage that D would do to our family, and told her that, frankly, I was afraid that she would hurt me again. The fear, also is much dissipated, and mostly now it is sadness over what we are both going through. I also told her some things that made me happy - our kids, our family time etc.
This sounds long, but it was actually pretty brief and honest and I stayed calm throughout it.
Great job Thinker, you led by example. You opened up and stayed calm - confident. Then you found out her anger wasn't all directed at you.
Quote:
She is still very reluctant to accept that R skills are something that everyone has to learn. She seems to want to think that it is genetic - you either have R skills built in or you don't.
Fixed Mindset vs Growth Mindset - google Carol Dweck "Growth Mindset. We all have to work to improve ourselves.
Sounds like you are thinking thru your emotions after you feel them. Feel then understand. You can handle it. Cheers Coach
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
