Hi all, Just really confused for right now. I found out just a little over a week ago that my wife of 8 years, and best friends for a total of 15 years had an affair with another man. I did catch it early on in the affair, and I don't believe it was going on that long.
I was completely blindsided. We have 3 kids age 5 and under. Through the ups and downs of the emotions I have been unwavering in my support for our marriage, and my very strong intent to work through the problem(s) with my wife, and have tried communicating that to the best of my ability. I have been reading here, in the middle of reading The Divorce Remedy, talked with people etc. But really....I just don't get it.
I feel there is no sense of remorse, and in a place that I am questioning everything from, is this the first time, to are my kids really mine?!, I really need to feel just a little security.
I really can't get a good answer about anything right now. Obviously there was a reason that it happened. I, and we, are by no means perfect. We have improved so many things, and overcome so many obstacles over the years, and I don't feel like we are done. This is another opportunity we have been given to overcome and be stronger. But I can't get out of her what it is that was so bad, or made so unhappy. I have no examples of what it was that we failed at, and that it got to this point. Only the standard lines of "im not in love with you, and never was", "i resent you for so many things" or "im so angry at you". But she won't tell me why or what she is so resentful and angry for. Not one example. So I feel like I just can't win.
I have been trying to gently steer this into looking at the current situation, and moving forward. Finding some solid ground to start from. But I can't see that helping at all either right now. And perhaps, my vision is just not that clear with so many questions that I feel need answered. After over a week of this, I still just don't know where to even start.
