Having filed, it is sometimes difficult not to come across as 'misery loves company'. However, I DO take issue with people who will either sit around and take the abuse of a WAS or with 'standers' that throw everything in G-d's lap and take a laissez-faire approach. G-d will give you the strength but YOU must HELP and do your OWN WORK.

I agree with an older post of KerryK's. If you are sure that your spouse is not having an affair..is home with you...and is just out in MLC lalaland, then I DO think that one should continue the efforts to save the marriage. HOWEVER, it behooves the LBS'er to totally get moving with their life and stay on track and keep out of their cesspool. THAT...is a VERY DIFFICULT job but not impossible. You cannot save your marriage by CHANGING THEM nor can you save it by changing YOU per se (of course it helps). THEY have to decide that they want to save it and THAT you have no control over with MLC.

I think a line is crossed when the WAS/MLC'er simply becomes a parasite or leach and your life can be wasted away in limbo...in denial. Growth should give you clarity. Otherwise, you get stuck...forever....posting the day to day banalities of a life stuck in nowhere.

FIB

Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11)
Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t
Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10
Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;