WAW - Very confused and devastated - pt 8

[confusedinpa]

I would continue to give her space and not really call unless necessary. Otherwise, what's the point of her moving out?

Actually from the way the two of you were getting along, talking/massaging, etc. moving out really didn't make much sense. She had to "escape" from something.

Give her some time to sort things out on her own.

It really didn't make much sense to me as to why she moved out. Prior to me "setting the cage door open" and said she was free to go, I thought we were starting to reconnect slightly. She still wanted to move out, and had called a real estate agent to list the house.

I think things were actually heading in a more positive direction right up until the time she talked to her friend whose husband had depression (remember, our counselor/my therapist thought I had suffered with depression during the years my wife said she was miserable). That friend stayed with her husband and lived for 13 years in misery right up to when he committed suicide at 46.

Right after that she shutdown and started to create distance again.....

Another thing is that she said about 2 years ago she felt that she was losing me and the marriage and dealt with all the grief tha was associated with it. She had felt that I had given up on the marriage. Now that she knows I haven't, she's struggling with why that's not making her happy. Perhaps she's struggling with her feelings like I am trying to decide how I feel. Only she knows that. I'm not going to waste my time/energy to figure it out for her. I will support her if she asks for it.

I'll keep giving her time and space, but will move more towards the integrated man during our interactions - being friendly and upbeat. I'll still leave it up to her to call me, unless absolutely necessary.

Thanks for everyone's support and encouragement.....