Starved and confused husband

[mamanpc]

Hello sh
Have you sat down and had a very direct talk with your wife, explaining how unhappy you are?

Another book that i've found very helpful (and recommended by Michelle) : Passionate Marriage: sex, love and intimacy in emotionally committed relationships, by David Schnarch. He is a sex therapist AND marriage counselor, because he firmly believes that you have to take care of the ENTIRE relationship when there is a problem with sex, not only the sexual part.

I am the 'LD' spouse in our R - and i am also aware that i can only work on me and not on H (who also hates books and refuses to read them, also refuses to see a counselor together). i am struck by the chasm in our communication - partly (I think) because of our very different male/female way of relating to each other.

I would also recommend reading Michelle's Divorce Remedy book - the steps described in it are 'lifesavers' for marriage. In particular the 'Get a Life' recommendation comes to my mind after reading your sitch. Check all that out here on the forum.