Thank you for that. After Sandi's post I thought I would make a stand about me having to pay for her and the children's shoppping. She said I should pay it as its affects the children and she cannot pay both my rent here at the rental house and her own shopping. She said once the divorce has gone through the benefits she receives will allow here to be able to pay for things.
Instead of me standing my ground I caved in again. I have lost the power completely, she told her respect for me is nil and as I thought I was making tiny progress I now feel I have lost her forever. I am feeling awful again as I don't know what to do now. I feel I have probably pushed her into the OP's arms for good as I cannot keep any focus, I cannot concentrate, I feel sick and I cannot see any positive future.
My wife has secured her future, new boyfriend, a new home that I slaved over getting into shape for over a year, a new body, new wardrobe, everything is in place for her and its killing me.
I took A mental strength test yesterday and it said points over 24 required professional help. I actually scored 48, I was astounded as I know I am suffering from depression and I do not want to take any tablets, I am feeling very isolated, desperately lonely and starting to think about the point of it all really.
Most of you guys seem to be able to cope even though we all know how hard it is, but I am finding it getting more difficult for me every day, I have pushed my wife away for good, no immediate chance of a job in a career I hate, savings running out and I don't even have the energy to open letters anymore.
Last edited by markhaving probs; 05/01/0906:05 AM.
Bomb dropped: 19/12/08 Me:48 WAW:41 D:10 S:6 Married: 15 years
