I was in a similar sitch to you for about two months. My W was texting/calling the OM every day. My response was similar to yours: just wait it out and eventually it would go away. Only it didn't. In the end, she left to be with him and she did leave me and the kids behind.
In hindsight, the biggest mistake I made was not confronting her affair early on and setting the proper boundaries. I was an enabler for the affair and the separation. I thought I was doing the right thing by letting her string me along, but the truth was that I made it much, much worse.
Only you know what your W is like and what sort of things are likely to get through to her, but I will say that being firm, setting boundaries (no more talking to the BF when I'm around, you pay your own phone bills, you buy your own clothes, undergarments, perfume, etc.) and not enabling her would have (I believe) shut down the A and had us on the path to reconciliation much quicker. As it is, she is still waffling after spending a sizable chunk of money that I gave her, our family has been ripped apart for going on 6 months, and there is still a lot of uncertainty about what the future hold for us.
No more Mr. Nice Guy!
Me40 WAW37 M18 T20 S18,14 D13 EA Bomb 6/08 Sep 11/20/08 Ret 08/09 Sep/Filed 11/09
