well im not sure if seeing a therapist is considered GAL, but man im pretty sure i could use some counseling especially if it would be covered under my insurance.
Mainly my reasoning for considering this is I really dont have to many people to discuss the sh*t with. The 2 friends i fish with both have come to the conclusion that i should just be able to flip a switch and be done with her.....not that easy for me. My parents are pretty biased and really all they say is i cant believe that she is doing this to you...and when i tell them that there precious angel put 50% into destroying this 13yr relationship they dont want to believe it. Her mom is great matter of fact her whole family is great to me they all have been telling me that they keep telling her what a mistake it is to throw me away. I just kinda reply with Im sure she has her reasons and that i am doing everything I can to make me a better person.
The thing is, is that like i said b4 i need to stop just reading and posting and start taking action. I have fought for everything i believe in my whole life and im not about to give up on this. I know 1 thing for sure i can throw one hell of a pity party for myself.....LOL!!! That has kinda been my M.O. the past month.
On a brighter note found away to possibly relive some stress over the house with this makinghomeaffordable.com deal that is gov. funded but not sure if i will qualify, lost my job a few months back had to take lower paying job just to get back to work but in these tough times im just happy to be working. The W on the other hand told me that she has been so busy that she has had no time to do anything for herself, she said she has been worried about me to much?
Anyway going to go start my second read of DR and after that just got the 5 love languages will read that as I was told by W that she feels or communication suks, and that might have a little to do with the fact that i really cant tell if she is talking to me or testing me after the whole crazy 3 ? mind game she pulled. She told me that weekend that we got in the fight (that Triggered all this) she told me that she felt that summed up or 13yr relationship and that she is afraid that is what her life would be like if she stayed with me cleaning and takeing care of me and 3 kids, i didnt try to change her mind of this as i understand telling her I want to change is pursuing i need to show her....wow 1 arguement summed up 13yrs. not really sure what else to say just kinda venting. Well good night..........
