Yeah, if the OM was local, this whole thing would be much tougher, so I guess I should count myself fortunate in that regard.
I seriously considered contacting the OM when I found out about the affair back in December, and appealing to any conscience he may have, especially considering our three young kids. Something told me not to though. I knew my W was on a path she needed to travel alone. One of my good friends said "She'll never be happy if she doesn't do this and see what happens," and I knew it was true. I just showed her I loved her, and I made our Christmas holiday truly special, but when she chose him, I went dark and moved on with my life. When the affair collapsed so soon, I knew that maybe there was still a chance, if I still wanted one.
Tonight during our son's baseball game, my W told me she had all the kids away at sleepovers Friday night, and she asked if I would like to go out to see a movie with her. She kind of made a joke of it, and said we'd be going just as friends, but I knew it was a meaningful gesture on her part. Initially, I was cool to her offer, and didn't really reply one way or the other. At the end of the game as we were leaving I did say I'd like to go, and we made a tentative plan. I'm not optimistic she'll follow through though. When faced with me saying yes, she backpedaled a little and said she had a plan to watch a movie at her friend's house, and she'd have to see if she could get out of that. She said she'd call me tomorrow to let me know. I said "If you're not going to go, I need to know so I can make other plans." She replied, "I'll let you know as soon as I can tomorrow, if you have another option, take it. I don't mind." She was friendly, not annoyed, but I get the distinct feeling I'm being played a bit here. She got me to say yes to her offer, and now she's giving herself an out. Gotta love these games!
