It's going. I have been throwing myself into work. Trying to catch up on everything that I have been neglecting since this has started. I get real down at times but I guess that is to be expected through all of this. I have talked to my MIL and she asked why I wanted a divorce because my husband had told her that he did not see this coming, that he thought we had been getting along really good these past few months and that he did not know where I was coming from.
So I told her all about her son. She said that she was having a hard time believing that he would do something like this. I said that I had a hard time at it too but that it had happened and that because of what he has been doing that he has lost his wife and his marriage. She talked to him and guess what? He denied it all. He said that my sister was a liar and that my sister is just mad at my h because he won't let her boyfriend live in the house that she rents from us. (That is another story but her bf did something to my H and that made him really mad and they have not gotten along since)
He also said that the web site was something that popped up on his computer and he had tried to get out of it but it is stuck on his computer.
I wasn't shocked that he tried to deny it but I had to laugh at it too. I told her that there was no way that my sister was lying and the MIL asked me how I knew that the text messages was even coming from my H's phone and that my sister was not making this up. I said that I had seen it on his phone that he had these text messages still there. I also told her that the only way that the profile would have gotten on the computer is if he put it there, that it had his birthday on it, a description of my H, the town that he was working in, and that it had sent a password to his email account. I told her that the computer just don't do that on it's own, that he had put that profile on there. I told her that I was computer savvy and not the stupid woman that they would like to believe I am, that I know how computers work.
She talked to him again and then back to me and his story changed that he had only been joking with my sister and that she must have thought that he was serious. I told my MIL that if it was a joke then my H was the only one that was laughing and that I was crying instead. i said if it was just a joke then why did he continue to contact my sister almost everyday, even on the day that he was served the papers asking if my sister wanted to get together with him for a one on one before he left for Maine. I said that there was no way that this was a joke and even if it was a joke I still would have filed for a divorce because I can not forgive him for his cruel ways. She said that he loved me and that I was seeing more into this than what there really was and that my H said that I should have talked to him before I decided to file for a divorce. I told her that no amount of talking is going to save this marriage now.
I already knew that he would scramble to figure out how to get himself out of being caught red handed, so this is not a surprise to me. What is a surprise is how I am second guessing myself even though I know that I should not. I have told other people what he has said they all agree with me and believe that this ws not a joke, the profile doesn't get there by itself, and the my h is backpeddeling as fast as he can trying to figure out a way to make himself look good and make me look like I 'jump' too fast to a bad conclusion. OH, WELL!!!
I a different note. I got an appointment to have STD's checked to make sure that I am okay. I also checked into some counceling but so far I am not happy with the choices that I have available to me. I like coming here and to my freinds and family. I don't want a some councelor telling me that it was my fault maybe so I am scared to go. I know its not my fault but I am scared one will tell me that I should have done this or should have done that and that I could have saved my marriage, or that I sent my H away to do these things since I have menopause and don't have a sex drive and that he needed to get it somewhere if I wasn't giving it out. I know that I am just being down on myself. I will have these days.
Me-31 Him-28 D1-9 D2-6 Married 5-06 Seperated 12-07 He filed 1-08 Reconciled 4-08 D dropped 7-08 Bomb dropped about H's activities outside the marriage 4-21-09 Filed for D 4-28-09 Trying to make a go of it 6-09
