saw x AGAIN tonight. good grief these kid events make it hard to stay dark and stay detached.
Well it happened -he finally got the letter from child support enforcement... i had been wondering what his reaction would be. well along with that letter came a later text from him mom. someone that mattered to him growing up was killed today in a farm accident. an older gentleman that was like a mentor to him.
i knew he had gotten teh letter..but didn't know about the friend. he came up to me and talked to me - and then started tearing up-- (this is what he always uses with me) anyway he was sad. we walked to a place where he could get himself together --- he did, I did hug him showed compassion but din' try and have answers. when he brought up the letter he wasn't mad he just felt like I dont know what he really felt. i think he feels trapped... pushed and cornered.
he left the performance after d12 did her thing. (he had told me he was going to...) he texted me and said thank u. i didn't respond. (there isn't a need to)
he lied again about his finances.. i just listened. he cried.. i just was compassionate. I CANT be pulled in. It doesn't help him and it doesnt help me.
i HAVE to keep going!! i HAVE to!!!
M-20 years/BOMB 12/24/06 Moved out 3/12/07 D final 7/30/2008 finding myself again
