I first started going to her in the first two weeks of this breaking. She helped a lot to understand some of the dynamics of what was going on. Then as things progressed she kind of just became a person to talk to about this who already knew the details. I wasn't getting any real tools or help.
However, as it stands, my what my wife did to me was total crap in my eyes. I didn't deserve it at all and she has rationalized it all out to make herself look like an innocent victim. That being said I know she is just a person who found themself unhappy and tried to stop it. She just went about it in a really screwed up way. I have no desire to attack her or ever hurt her or her reputation.
I say some nasty and sarcastic things on this thread but that is because it is aynomous. My therapist gives me an opportunity to go in and talk about some of the ugliest things and say some stuff that would shock people that know us both without ever hurting her in the process.
So she helps there. As far as helping me work on stuff, I would need a different type of person. Like in ny other post I mentioned talking to the neighbors who are very close friends of mine but a second set of nieghbors were there. That happened because we were drinking and I have felt guilty every since. One of my biggest desires is to go to CO and start off with a clean slate. Just leave each other alone and forget we ever were together. We'll see how that works EH?
and she is from a Christian counseling service. So she in someways has hurt me. She talks about keeping my heart open in the event my wife ever changes her mind. I am finding out that I am not one of those people. I am very attracted to my wife. The only way to not let this bother me is to focus only on the negative stuff which closes the old heart. If I keep it open the stress is killing me. I have come to realize I am not one of those people who can deal with the middle.
Long answer huh? I guess that was mostly for me. She gives me an outlet after something builds up but that's about it.
I think there are others out there that would be of help though!
