Learning to Detach

[kjensen]

No, probably not. I would have avoided the topic but since H brought it up and asked my opinion, I gave it to him. I wasn't upset and H didn't get upset either. He paused when I said what had bothered/confused me-like he hadn't thought of it. The thing that surprised me was that he apologized.

I realize looking back with that lovely 20/20 hindsight that H has been seeming more 'normal' lately and even though this is OW's week off(no kids I think), I know H has been sleeping at his place. I was getting hopes slightly up and forgetting to DB.

I have been validating. I have been upbeat and acting "as if".
I have distanced myself, which I could do more of. Although for my situation I think being a supportive friend, but not initiating contact much and not having any expectations has worked better. I haven't brought up the OW/A. But yes, my opinion on his email did bring up the R...oooooops!

So if H brings up the R, do I sidestep it completely? Or do I talk calmly? I think I'm in sketchy territory with this communication class because we will be taking on 'hot topics' down the road before the class is done...So its more traditional type of therapy that I need to fit into the DB model. I am unclear how to do it.