Fist I would love to know, if you dont mind me getting a little personal, what attracted you at 24 to a 40 year old man?
Sun – I knew you would ask that – and I’m not certain the answer will help you. Everyone’s relationship is different and I’m not sure that telling you that I was attracted to him because he was tall, dark, hot, clever, funny, caring, great company and rich as a Lord who I had a wonderful relationship with for 11 years is in any way relevant to your situation.
My X and I broke up because I grew up. Despite 11 fantastic years as I became more mature, better educated, more successful, improved self confidence, better able to look after myself – all because of his amazing and uncompromising support and encouragement – I outgrew him. By the time we separated he was just over 50 and looking forward to retiring, playing golf, going fishing and spending every holiday in New Zealand.
I was in my early 30s ambitious, looking forward to working harder and making greater strides in my career, bike riding, bush walking and travelling the Silk Road one year and the Nepalese mountains the next. Our values and expectations for life changed.
That’s the biggest risk for relationships where there is an age difference – particularly when you don’t have shared responsibilities like children – you just get to different places in your life.
V
Never make someone a priority, who makes you an option.
