It will take more than a major miracle to convince me your husband is for real. When he gives up the OW and can demonstrate that he's had no contact with her for 12 months, when gets into therapy for his anger/rage and narcisissm and can demonstrate he's a decent human being, then maybe you should give it a second thought. He then needs to bend over backwards and not make a SINGLE demand on you. Not until then.
I fully agree with this. xH gave me a list of demands, and only then would he come back. No thank you. He never mentioned anything HE needed to change. I fear our spouse/xspouses are similar in that aspect.
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What kind of individual sets this kind of example for his 20 year old daughter?
Shame on him. And kudos to you for being there, for your daughters, during this mess he left behind. Shame on him for being so selfish that he always (and probably will always) put himself first.
My friend said to me awhile back, "You are a treasure. You don't deserve to be put away on a shelf. You deserve true happiness with someone that appreciates you".
I think that applies to you as well, my friend. Happiness is out there. Good, solid, trustworthy men are out there.
