Learning to Detach

[kjensen]

Hi D,
It is hard to hear BS time and again, especially the rewriting of history. Detachment is helpful-I'm still working at it!

In our active listening exercise this afternoon with H, I talked about the vacations I enjoyed taking with H and why. He listened and summarized and then said- "Wow, I don't remember all of those things you described! I just don't remember all of those details."...

I didn't get a chance to do nothing about H's email to the school counselor-ok I could have said nothing but I didn't- H called me at work and told me he forwarded the email to me that he had sent the school counselor and asked what I thought. I said I thought it was good except for one sentence-and told him the sentence-and said i wouldn't have said that. I said I thought he was still conflicted, which he then again stated he was, so I stated that that statement in the email puzzled me.

He apologized for the statement. He said that as he explained on the way home from communication class Tues night, he doesn't see how (we)it would work out. He also said that night that he didn't think it mattered what he wanted or what I wanted, that he didn't see a way to work things out.

This stance puzzles me a bit. I should have asked what it was he thought I wanted, and what it was that he wanted..but I didn't. It seems like he feels he messed up so much that there is no way to repair the damage(but he doesn't say that). Since I have rarely showed anger through this whole ordeal, and have been supportive of him, I'm not sure why he would think things look so hopeless. Maybe its the depression, maybe MLC?