And behind it all, I wonder if I`m crazy to be hanging on in here!
Only if you think marriage is disposable, just words, more like a business transaction. Otherwise, if you think a marriage is worth fighting for, then no you're not really crazy.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
Thanks for your frankness JTB!But if someone is depressed often they`re the last ones to seek the help they need, it is from that point of view that I`d thought of going to see H`s doctor. No, I`m not trying to get him on my side and yes, H would be mad if he found out I`d done that.
But you`re so right about the Mom thing. I`m becoming his Mom again in looking after him. That`s one of the things that I`ve become aware of and have tried to change. And there I go making him dinner and thinking about calling his doctor.
Ok, point taken.Too late on the dinner front-that`s already been eaten(and i got `thanks` which is something...) but I won`t call his doc.
Thanks for keeping me hanging on here-for another while anyway!
A very slight thaw this morning. He told me he`d be late home AND where he`d be.
And I`m going to take you`re advice and even pull back a bit with my two friends and sibs who do know. It already is too hard on them.
Well, three weeks on from my starting Last resort Technique and I`m concerned that H is showing no signs of changing. Getting worse if anything. I`ve certainly changed.
I`m A LOT calmer and am enjoying so many more things in my life. Just expected H to notice and maybe even drop his guard a little but no.
I`m begining to think that this is as good as it gets.Shouldn`t I see some change in him by now? Or is there something else I should try?
Patience! Three weeks isn't very long. Keep your focus on you, and not him. If you are calmer, and enjoyong life more, that can't be a bad thing, right?
I know 3 weeks...I know it seems like this huge ammount of time.
It is really nothing. I'm not trying to take props away from you, you SHOULD reward yourself for going 3 weeks get an ice cream...I am not being sarcastic here...do something for you but know that 3 weeks is really nothing in MLC.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
He even rejected my dinner this evening! Sob! Had left it on the hob to be reheated. Dunno what he ate but he avoided it. Spag bol. And I make a damn decent spag bol. Damn! Guess we`ve gotta eat it tomorrow instead! ;-)
But, I get your point, Jack and Jeff. Sadly, patience is not my forte. So I suppose another virtue of these limboland lessons is that I have to learn how to watch paint dry with a smile on my face.
I`m taking your reward suggestion seriously Jack! Every three weeks of this I`m going to indulge in some retail therapy to cheer me up!
And have learned so much already from all of this in the past three weeks I really shouldn`t be complaining.Its left me very open to every possibility I suppose. Including that H and I won`t make it. I`m just maazed at how much I`ve been thinking about it, how up and down I`ve been and yet how H seems to be on an utterly different trajectory, being pretty consistent in dragging the M right down.
I`ve just realised Jeff that, three weeks on in LRT maybe I shouldn`t be looking at him for signs of change but looking at me. Yes,I`m doing just fine. I`ve been really down in the past over the M and I know everyone on this board get to that point, but I`m really just thrilled to be so well, so happy, so healthy, and to have learnt so much through all of this.
And LRT has been HUGELY helpful in that regard.
So maybe I`m looking in the wrong place for change. In the past three weeks I`ve indulged in lots of my fav relaxing pursuits, I`ve a clearer view of my priorities, I`m calmer, I`m detached from H`s moods, I`m a better Mum to my children.
I`ve read through some of your current thread, Jeff, and can see that you`re a lot further down the road than I am. I know the result I want(reconciliation) may not be the one I get but I`m hopeful that the result will be the one I NEED. And that DBing at the very least will lead me to a happier place for all the family.Reading your thread shows the light at the end of the tunnel.
I`ve just realised Jeff that, three weeks on in LRT maybe I shouldn`t be looking at him for signs of change but looking at me. Yes,I`m doing just fine. I`ve been really down in the past over the M and I know everyone on this board get to that point, but I`m really just thrilled to be so well, so happy, so healthy, and to have learnt so much through all of this.
And LRT has been HUGELY helpful in that regard.
So maybe I`m looking in the wrong place for change. In the past three weeks I`ve indulged in lots of my fav relaxing pursuits, I`ve a clearer view of my priorities, I`m calmer, I`m detached from H`s moods, I`m a better Mum to my children.
I`ve read through some of your current thread, Jeff, and can see that you`re a lot further down the road than I am. I know the result I want(reconciliation) may not be the one I get but I`m hopeful that the result will be the one I NEED. And that DBing at the very least will lead me to a happier place for all the family.Reading your thread shows the light at the end of the tunnel.
