My Story -- Advice for a Left Behind Spouse

[hopefulinEG]

Can't you do both. Go Dark but since there are kids you will end up seeing her periodically so be upbeat during those times.

Going Dark is your time to get off the rollercoaster and work on your self. Become the best person you can be and learn to be happy with or without them. That will help your own sanity and make you a more attractive person to your W. Even if you aren't seeing her often if you are really GALing it will show and she will eventually notice.

It also stops the pursuing. She needs the space and time to start to remember the good things about your marriage. She needs time to feel the regret without seeing you to remind her of her resolve.

The biggest benefit for me of going Dark (to the extent I can with kids) is the detachment aspect.