In my sitch controlling - is when my H makes his plans for his life and doesn't tell me and excludes me is when my H won't help with things he used to do is when he sleeps on the couch for over 4 years but won't leave is when he refuses to talk about any R stuff to dissolve what's left or rebuild from the wreck
Based on the above I don't have much input for Lead in a Positive way.... What I would like to see is a partner that will work shoulder to shoulder with me a partner that will share in decision making a partner that will talk and discuss, even the hard things a partner that will offer support and take support.
How about a reverse of this question too? Guys - what makes a lady controlling vs leading in a positive way?
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
Thanks for responding--I'm surprised no one else has! For me, a woman is controlling when: She won't value her husband's opinions. She does whatever she wants to no matter the effect on others. She witholds her emotions and feelings (in other words, she shuts down). She gets very angry when things don't go her way. She uses manipulation to get her way.
A lady who leads as a lady does: Share her feelings with her husband. Talks differences through, rather than fights. Sets a positive example for others, especially for her daughter if she has one. Pracitices humility and gentleness, but without being a doormat.
CHOICE! Controlling - I have no choice or choices of no significance in the matter. Leading - I have a choice to follow or not, contribution, autonomy.
Great question.
Cheers ~
Me45 H46 T25 M22 S21 & 19 D13 Separated and filed 8/08 Moved home 11/08
Controlling is my H IGNORING all my needs and cries for help. Controlling is when I hear "yes, that would be nice but we CANT do it cause my work is my 1st priority" Controlling is when he sees me and the kids when he can and not when we need him Controlling is lying Controlling is making you feel you should be OK with less than what you need... Controlling is...silence
