H came back, gave the kids a bath, fed them souvlakia that he bought for them and we talked a bit about taxes and the weekend and he left. On his was out, since I saw him wearing his coat, taking it off cause my D was crying and putting it on again, I told him when he is done with work, we need to talk. He said "yes we need to talk" loud and clear.
Tonight I got scared again. It feels as holding on to a rope (how strange, always a rope involed) and letting it go while I am falling down a steep canyon. Fear can do weird stuff to ones mind. I am terrified. BUT, I think we are for the first time on the same page. He is done too.
Of course I still have anger while he seems to be ok with that although last weekend a lot of anger showed up.For example tonight I got upset when people kept calling him and he was answering "I will call you later" and I immediately started thinking that he porbbaly goes out tonight that he is off work but he never found the time to go out with me 7 months now. All this is just my mind, I am assuming thigns, I know, still my assumptions ticked me off pretty bad. I didnt show it and stayed calm.
So, it seems Ali will be the only one "making it" from our group. Sad that she is the only one, good for her. GO AL!!!! K
