AJM- I finally got out of my self-obsession and took a look at your thread...sorry it is so hard.
I think a therapist should help with the timing and wording with kids. We saw someone to make agreements about it. That was a tough day and I am still a bit traumatized thinking about it. I only tell you so you get help ahead of time and so you and W don't end up fighting or presenting different and possibly confusing information. I sooo relate. I never wanted my kids to think I condone this. But, I also can't villainize H, you know?
As for her blaming you (my sitch to), I suppose they can do it for as long as they want. I mean how many people do you know who blame and bitch about their exes. I am hoping that H will let me off the hook and look at himself BUT, it is me that has to stop blaming myself regardless of what he does.
As a woman, I will say that I think you GAL and being stable and perhaps a little elusive is only a good thing. At least for myself, I want to feel like a guy can take care of himself (and me, kids). Even if it is an unfair expectation, when courting or sizing someone up, it factors in.
