For starters, stop panicking. That will drive him away and make you crazy.
For the OW: Nope. Don't ask. Not a word. Not a peep. Let it go and deal with it later if there is a later. For your anniversary: get him a card or something, but keep it personal yet not overly gushy. Don't be the one that didn't get him something.
Do not keep asking him about the relationship. Until you know otherwise, assume that it is getting better. He is noticing, but he'll try everything he can to not let you see that he notices. Expect that.
You'll need to start building trust. This is awkward because he destroyed the trust, yet you are going to be the one to build it. You need to be friends with your H. That's where you start.
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
