My Sailor is Back-but not Home

[StrgMarvelousWmn]

{{{sis}}}

What to say....?

Sounds as though someone was on a 7 month vacation from reality and responsibility and hit the pier thinkin he was still at sea.

I think you are probably dead on in that assumption.

Maybe Mrs. Bobbit didn't have a bad idea at the time, oh wait sorry that was rude.

Rude or not, that right there was funny!!!

The kids pretty much have DH figured out D17 for sure, that's good and bad. Good they see thru his lies, bad for the walls that are building higher towards shutting him out, and the hurt of missing him for so long to be shot down in wanting 'their' time. My hugs and prayers go out to them.

I think he has burned every bridge with D17. Leaving the kids like this infuriated her and she is not willing to give him the benefit of the doubt after all of this. As for the other kids, they are struggling. D5 and S3 are too little to get the full implication, but D9 is brilliant and while she may not say alot about how she feels, she is an observer. I really think she knows way more than she is letting on. That has got to be an awesome burden for a child to bear. However, I do not think it is a good idea to push her on things. I do not want to put an idea in her head that may not be there.

So now as FG would say it's time to 'do work'. Time to lay down boundaries when he gets back. He needs to know that you will not accept this behavior and it is not tolerated if you chose to let him stay, doesn't sound like the BIL/SIL's house will be any different.

I agree. The challenge I am having is in determining what are the right boundaries to set right now. I did pack up all the stuff he left here when he came back from deployment. It is in a box in the garage and his uniform is hanging in the closet. I am kicking myself for not driving it out to the airport and putting it in his car. Ah well, hindsight is 20/20. I agree, too, that things will not be easy on him at BIL's, either. Everyone is angry at him.

No you can't control him, but you sure can control yourself and what happens around the kids. Remember there is nothing wrong with anger as long as it is constructive to hold it in can be dangerous, builds up to a point where it will burst like a balloon. You have every right to be honest and upfront.

That is what I am trying to do--control what i an and let God deal with the things I can't. With His strength, I can and will get through this right now. I was angry for the kids last week and Tuesday I was an emotional mess for a large portion of the afternoon. God and I had a long talk and He kicked me in the pants for losing faith in Him and not allowing Him to take care of things. I am not holding anything in--I will not live with bitterness, anger, and unforgiveness in my life. All it does is hurt me and my relationship with the Lord.

Remember what you have turned into and who you did it for, this is the strength to draw from. You also have a wide support group use it and learn from it. You know what's right and how to accomplish it use the tools to stay your path. Now as hard as it will be remember family means well but stay true to yourself and your convictions on the course you have chosen...

That is where I am. I want to set appropriate boundaries that do not create feelings of alienation but clearly define what will and will not be tolerated, especially in regards to the kids. I am a tree that will bend in the wind, but is strong enough to survive the storm. I am okay.

Peace be in you & your families hearts...

Bro

Bro--

Thanks for the words of wisdom and the continued prayers and hugs. I am hoping that things are going well for you and yours. I know that your mental deadline is coming up soon. Trust in the Lord to light your path.

Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~
Sis