Who are you? Where do you get this stuff and why the hell didn't I have this info when I needed it 10 years ago? Seriously, this is good stuff. You should write a book--you'd make millions.
I have been around the block a time or two.
MUCH success in helping others win back a lover..
I know what works. The bottom line here is to do what works.
Jealousy WORKS. You are denying yourself an opportunity by not using this method. You don't want to use it... No loss to me. (I have to be careful saying that on here because suddenly you will hear others come on and start the "righteousness bologna")Then the whole thread turns to jealousy..It WORKS. Use it.(if you want your BEST chance, if not, then you probably are not going to like your chances. It doesn't make me wrong though if you don't use it or if others disagree..Because I am not wrong. It makes the naysayers WRONG. I don't find that standing by your marriage while a spouse or lover is having love and sex with someone else ( and WHO knows what else) a very smart thing to do. Maybe getting a taste of their own medicine is what wakes them up (which is DOES) I think it makes you look silly and weak to let them do it while you say you will wait for them. It doesn't work. If it did, I would recommend it. If it did, then we should be overloaded with success stories on this site, because we SURE have a lot of people standing strong on their marriage.
** NOTE.. Don't let this change from using "jealousy" to "when are you getting married?" We are only talking jealousy here. Not getting married to the first person of the opposite sex that you have a laugh with. Doesn't mean you have sex with your first meet for coffee...
If you are observing to learn from others on this site, you would be wise to observe the WS's that come on here...
The pattern is this when you see "most" of them...
It goes like this... "I was the WS. I had an affair for ___(fill in blank on time)...
"I finally realized the error of my ways and want my BS back. Can you help me. I am so sorry. I have tried telling (him or her) how sorry I am, but now (read this carefully AFWAW) he or she isn't sure what they want. I think they may be interested in someone else. (notice how often you will hear or observe that from a repentant WS)... How can I DB my spouse and show them how sorry I am and that I have changed? Should I call them? Are they just rebounding?"
You will find out that this happens a LOT when you starting accepting reality. You will actually start to say to yourself.. "you know, Gucci is right, it does happen a lot once you are open to it"
Ask Pollyanna... Do a search on this site of all the WS's you can find and count how often things didn't change UNTIL the BS let go and of course there is almost always another person that the BS now has brought into the picture. (the WS suddenly KNOWS HOW IT FEELS)
Let her go AFWAW. Let her go... Allow her to chase.. You don't have to be mean or punitive. Just stop initiating ANYTHING. Start telling her you don't know how YOU feel either. "maybe I will start dating, maybe you are right...hey.. gotta run, I was just....... tlak to you later... ta ta"....
I can't help that this works. I can tell you it DOES.. Who cares why it works. Do it and see for yourself.
