If he sacks the OW and drops all his demands then maybe think again......but until the pigs start flying don't let your mind wander that way. Don't let loneliness drive you back to him Yoyo-go find a better future.
He's trying to suck you in. He's pulling on the string hoping the yoyo will, yet again, recoil quickly, torque upwards. and settle in his hand.
The best thing you can do is cut the string.
It will send him and your daughters a strong message -- you are not to be taken for granted anymore. You are not a doormat. You are not the Giving Tree. You are entitled to 50% of all your common assets and, most importantly you are entitled to be respected.
It will take more than a major miracle to convince me your husband is for real. When he gives up the OW and can demonstrate that he's had no contact with her for 12 months, when gets into therapy for his anger/rage and narcisissm and can demonstrate he's a decent human being, then maybe you should give it a second thought. He then needs to bend over backwards and not make a SINGLE demand on you. Not until then.
Actually my gut says run as far from him as you can.
What Sara said about your oldest daughter is something I've been reflecting on for sometime. If you want to talk offline about it, I'm willing to. I'll say this for now....how you treat yourself/respect yourself will invite, almost enable certain responses from your husband. This is also true with your girls. Yes they think your husband is a jerk, but they are partly accepting his behavior towards you because you accept it. Not only will it shape what they accept from men, but it will also affect how they treat you.
I think your starting to feel your stength and power return. Keep moving in that direction.
I recently saw a movie called Lars and the Real Girl. A man was talking to his brother, asking how do you know you are an adult. Here is his brother's response...
Quote:
Well, it's not like you're one thing or the other, okay? There's still a kid inside but you grow up when you decide to do right, okay, and not what's right for you, what's right for everybody, even when it hurts...Like, you know, like, you don't jerk people around, you know, and you don't cheat on your woman, and you take care of your family, you know, and you admit when you're wrong, or you try to, anyways. That's all I can think of, you know - it sound like it's easy and for some reason it's not.
