The adventure continues- part 4

[AFWAW]

I said, honestly, you'll have to do the best you can to make her feel special and do right by her no matter what happens as she's your daughter. She then said, I can't make up my mind. Again, I didn't respond.

Wrong answer. You SHOULD have said.. "I'm not sure that is what I want anymore. (and then shut up) The whole conversation would have been changed at that point...

Instead... Your answer validated that you are STILL there for her at her whim. (not attractive or strong)

Ok, I see what you're saying here--I actually thought I was leaving it for her to wonder about when I said no matter what happens--I can see where I need some work on this--I just need to transition to actually saying it--this has been a problem for me always--I haven't told her I feel about things as I feared she would get angry--I know that's very weak.

You know, the funny thing is, I'm not sure how I feel right now so this actually wouldn't be a lie--I really have thought about what you said the other day and have reread what you wrote about 5-6 times a day so please don't think you are wasting your time.

She said, hell, by the time I decide, you might not even want me back

This comment would not have been said if you would have told her earlier that you were not sure how YOU feel right now. She is not going to suddenly get her feelings back for a man that doesn't show some toughness and some integrity here. You need to show her that you value yourself much more than that. Allowing her (and that is all you are doing here) to treat you like this shows you lack value in yourself. (not attractive traits to lure a lover)

Your self esteem is so low that you can't seem to see or understand how effective gettting some backbone is. You have been wavering the past few days because of panic and because you hadn't heard from her. She isn't going to come back until she feels you have let go and are not going to tolerate a woman who can't make up her mind whether she loves you or whether she loves another man. I would make the decision for her. It may not be the one she was prepared for.....

You're absolutely right--my self-esteem is low. I know I have some work to do. I will continue to fine tune what I say and work on my interactions with her. Believe me when I say, with every day that goes by, I find myself thinking about what life would be like without her and what I'm going to do. I'm not sitting around tomorrow night, I'm actually going out w/ some folks from work. So, gucci, thanks again for your words of wisdom.