Cause in the scheme of things.. It does not mean much!
How does knowing that "..." help you in any way? Truth be told this man has walked all over you and you still "Love" him. If I was your friend I would be telling you.. GTF away from him. Stop talking to him.. stop interacting with him. On the surface.. that is good advice. But that advice lacks a plan.
You have to stop telling him that you are "strong". Your mouth moves.. and he "see's" the hurt. Trust me.. I have done the exact same thing.
From day 1 I have harped on this fact. Why do you think that DB says.. GAL, Do Something Different?
GAL is simply about removing yourself from thinking about what is going on in your life. If you find yourself sitting somewhere "out" and still thinking about him.. you are just not GAL correctly!
Do Something Different.. is all about throwing them (WAH/WAW) off their game. Or to be more clear to make them think about you.
People are simplistic to a point. They follow patterns. If you can recreate the patten that attracted "him" to you.. then you have a chance. I don't know that I want to encourage you to do that.. because it would bring on "drama" that I am not sure you are ready for.
If you look beyond the situation you find yourself in.. how would you react if tomorrow he came back and said.. I want you?
Unless you are ready to put ALL the past behind you and move forward.. things will not go well when/if he says that.
The biggest goal for me.. is to "see" you standing on solid ground. IMO.. you are not doing that yet.
"So, tell me....I should just keep my mouth shut. Don't sweat the small stuff. Act like he is perfectly capable of caring for her. Don't fall into his trap. And, if he calls me a name....just ignore it and walk away...don't take the bait?????"
Yes.. to a point. Stop "mothering" him. My Mom always has some suggestion on how I could do better. It does not always fit the situation in my mind. I still love her.. but she can be overbearing at times. Pick your battles. Be smart about things.
"Also, can someone tell me why he is getting meaner? I don't understand it. I am not mean to him. So, why?"
When life makes you stop and ponder.. "I don't understand it." most likely you are doing something "wrong". DB tells us to stop doing that.. and Do Something Different.
The weird thing about all this is.. from day 1 I have tried to point out that you are better than "this". You are smarter than "this". You can do better than "this".
Yet you seem to get lost in "this".
In "this" you lost a part of you.. the best part.. and I am not sure how to pull you out of "this".
You really need to dig deep here.. and find you in all "this"
Your "Emotion" is making you hold "this" stuff too tight. You need to get back to the basics.. and find some solid ground to "work" from.
#1.. Stop telling him what he did wrong.
#2.. Get your mind off of what is happening around you.
#3.. Go to work and do the best "job" you can.
#4.. Enjoy your time with K.
#5.. If you do the first 4.. you will sleep better.
#6.. Smile when you wake up and brush your teeth.
#7.. Remember the good things you have in your life.
#8.. From 5-7 will make 1-4 much easier and more enjoyable.
Do you see how life is a cycle there? It starts with you not "reacting". Then moves into you "refreshing". Then moves into you "enjoying". Then to you "sleeping" (relaxing).
I know.. I am "crazy" but I will tell you it is that simple in my mind.. and it has worked.. for me and others.
Simple things can change your life. You just have to do them consistently.
Relax Eat Think Act normal React.. Smartly. Do something different. Emulate. Do Work.
