but my WAW had a long distance A that seems to be over, or nearly over now. The whole thing is weird. She travelled to see OM, then she started being kind and respectful to me, but still with walls up. In an emotional breakdown, she told me "I don't want a divorce, I don't want to divorce you, look how we are together, if we only had that other thing." The other thing she was referring to was the lack of intimacy she lamented in our marriage, something I'm determined to remedy. That was a couple months ago. She travelled again to see OM, but shortly after her return I heard they "broke up", although she is still talking to him several times per week. Recently she opened up briefly again, and told me she has been hating me for what I did to our marriage, but that she likes how I've been changing, and that she misses me. Then she asked if we could just take it a day at a time.
She is being very friendly toward me, and regularly inviting me to spend time with her and the kids, but her walls are still really up, and physical contact is limited to occasional hugs and little pokes. It's getting easier little by little, but there is a giant elephant in the room whenever we're together.
My question for you is should I pursue at all? I like flirting with her very much, but I don't know if I should. I have flirted some, with mixed results. Since I know she thought I was too sexually conservative for her (wrongly I might add, although it's my fault she thought so), I'm compelled to start dropping very sexual innuendos when the opportunity presents, but I'm conflicted. My conflict stems from the fact that she cheated on me, so it seems like I'm compromising my self respect if I pursue her. I feel like if she wants back with me, she needs to make the move, although could all her invitations to me be considered that move?
Also, some of the standard advice given here says that I should give her the impression that I've moved on to encourage her to pursue me. I've done a good job GALing, and I've made it clear to her that I'll be fine without her, but wouldn't flirting and sexual innuendos effectively "show her my cards" that I really do still want her?
Is there some sign I should wait to get from her before I go down this path? I know I should probably just be more patient and let her move toward me at her own pace, but as per some of your advice here, I don't want her to think that I'm not passionate about her and that I'm not willing to be aggressive in showing her how I feel. I think there's probably a subtle timing that's important, which is why I'm asking your advice.
