OK, first, as you've been told, don't look, and ask people not to tell you.
Let it go. You can't control her. And every time you react, I bet she does a happy dance! Stop reacting, and she just might stop it! When you react, you play right into her hands, and let her use your reaction to prove to your XH that he made the right choice.
As far as what to do in an emergency.... what emergency could there be that you HAVE to tell H about? Really and truly? What could you possibly need, or even want his help for?
