Can anyone answer this? Part 6

[Silent Chrleader]

I understand how you are feeling, sunshine. You only got the bomb 7 months ago and that is a very short time compared to 20 years together.

You sound a lot like me in that your whole identity was wrapped up with your H and while you must know that wasn't healthy for you (or your H), it is still a very hard thing to change what has basically become "hare wired" into our brain.

Everyone here has given you good advice which is right on in most cases, but unfortunately we each have to take our own journey. Knowing what we need to do, and believing and embracing are completely different things. We all get there in our own time.

So, I guess I'm saying to try not to be hurt too much by some of the seeming "heavy handedness" of some advice here. I know it is well meant. But also remember that only you can walk in your shoes. So, be kind to yourself and don't worry too much about doing the right DB thing. It's good that you keep looking for answers I think. That shows strength and courage. But remember that it is possible to overthink, and that can tie us up in knots!!

As for the myspace thing. I understand your pain. The truth is that you need to weigh what the repercussions are to your actions. You might think that you will at least feel better for having "stood up for yourself and spoken your mind" by talking to your XH or the OW........but in all probability, in your current mental/emotional state, you would just be showing her (and him) that she has the power to hurt you. My advice is don't give her that power.

Hang in there!!

((((((((((hugs))))))))))