Learning to Detach

[kjensen]

Good advice.
H and I separated our bank accounts today-sort of. We both ended up being the secondary signer on each other's account b/c the bank employee wasn't really understanding what we wanted. H said it didn't really matter, he wasn't trying to hide anything.
H responded to my apology email and said he was learning that he was responsible for his feelings and responses. He saw this time as important for him to improve himself and become a stronger, more complete person.

My therapist talked to me toda-we talked about how H felt controlled, but in a way he has been passive and needs to take the initiative/control on his own. C thought that my H is acting out like an adolescent and treating me as the mother he is rebelling against. So I need to "cut the cord"...thats a hard one for me. I'm having a hard enough time adjusting to two tweens distancing and becoming more independent. Definitely triggers my abandonment isses head on.

I think I've made definite strides by withrawing from H(slowly knawing through the cord!). The communication classes keep us connected, we have to practice having active listening conversations before the next class. I plan to(and have) stopped initiating contact. No more R talk since my backslide comment last night.. Not sure what else I can do with this situation.