Of course, a third alternative is to simply match his level of commitment/effort/involvement with respect to your R and accept the way things are. But, you've said that you don't want to do that. And frankly, I don't think it would go much of anywhere.
Like you said, you are simply repeating the same cycle. Why? Because you choose to keep playing the same role. You are wrong that he is the only one who can break the cycle.
Your life, your choices. Step away from the cycle, and quit blaming YOUR choice to spin on him.
