I sent this last night to my IC (not scheduled to see her for a few weeks):

Thursday is D10's concert at school. Her friend (gf's D9) is in the chorus, too. X is planning on being there, and I would guess that gf will go along, too.

My stomach is starting to turn...my head says I shouldn't care, but my gut is a different matter. Blech.

It is the first time that I might possibly see them together.

Every time I get to some level of acceptance, something else comes along to cut.

It is so hard to try to be strong...I think I suck at it, actually.

I'm going to call another family from scouts who I know is going (D10's other friend), and see if I can tag along with them / sit with them, something of a distraction. I am trying very hard to not talk to others about this anymore, or let myself fall into a pit of bitterness. I don't want to succumb or fall apart, anymore, especially in front of other people.

When is my life going to be not all-about-this?

Donna,
Please don't be too negative with yourself. These
situations are very new and uncomfortable, you are
not wrong for feeling that.

I love the idea of going with others, I don't care if
it's a stranger, don't go and sit alone. My other suggestion
is to nip out early and have a pre-arranged meeting
spot with D10(or let Dad bring her home). This
will avoid the aftermath of hellos and awkward possibilities
of running into each other.

Know that planning ahead to manage stress works!

You can do anything...you've already climbed a way too
high mountain (and didn't even want to). I'll be thinking
of you.
IC

So, that is the plan. Think I'll have her dad bring her home, since I will be up front and bringing her, then cheering her on. I'll use the excuse of getting her some flowers for a job well-done. I'll sit with my S and my friend's family, right up front.

S13 has BMX tonight...I didn't email x to remind him. Wonder if he remembered to take him? No emails or calls, so I'm thinking not. But then again, S should have remembered, too.


(My stomach/thoughts are better, btw. Think it helps to have a plan.)