Kat, My first thought is would him having the kids an extra night reduce child support? Is that his motive?
I agree this would be very difficult on the children as well as you crazy H, but you can't tell these WAS anything.
Okay, here are my thoughts. If it would not change the amount of your monthly child support, let him have them the extra night. I don't believe it will last long. It will be too much of an inconvenience on him as well. If it does lower the child support payment then email your lawyer and tell him the problem and ask for advice.
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
He doesn't have them spending the night now on his one night. But because he would be getting home late or have to make two trips he wants to throw in the spending the night. I have no idea if it would now change the child support if I agree.
It ticks me off that any time he get a bug up his azz he thinks he needs to change something and will keep threatening me until I cave or go to court. Hasn't he upended all of us enough??
When he first moved out, we had nothing in place. This only came into play when he filed for Divorce. At the last minute he wanted to add on an extra day and I said no and the matter was dropped. Doesn't he understand that this is a consequence of the choices he has made?? Apparently not.
Who would have ever thought I could have so much disdain for him? It certainly wouldn't have been me. I still have to deal with the bankruptcy, so his timing is way off as usual. Just puts me under more stress and not in any mood to do him any favors.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
I don't think he is thinking of them, just what he wants. He has now threatened me with mediation or court what ever it takes to get his way.
Any advice?? (Oh and posted in surviving to see if they had ideas too.)
kat
Yep, not thinking of them. Since you are, if you don't think it's a good idea, I think you should say, ok, have your L file the paperwork for court and/or mediation. I'm fine with that. Don't cave if you don't think it's good for the kids!!! Does he have the money to do lots of more legal stuff??? Might not be a problem if he can't $$$ it.
I think the same thing sometimes; how did I stay married for so long??? I think our H's prob. did get worse, and we prob. both overlooked too much also!!! Karen
I know he thinks he is going to have all this extra money when he goes to live with her. I bet he hasn't thought out that she is going to be hitting him up for money too.
He probably would have to go to his parents that are such enablers and get more money. I think they already helped him out with his car and I know they gave him some money for the divorce which he had to payback(of course he didn't say it was for the divorce).
What started all of this today? He took a picture out of the kids picture packets without asking. This was a big deal because these weren't the regular school pictures and you had to pay by the sheet. They have different backgrounds and such. Anyway I was going to give him one for his birthday from each of the girls, but he took one before I even paid for them! they were like $40.00 for each child not the normal $12.00 or so. Anyway I asked him about it because the kids told me he took one. Heaven forbid that I should ever talk to him because he is constantly in fight mode.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
What started all of this today? He took a picture out of the kids picture packets without asking. This was a big deal because these weren't the regular school pictures and you had to pay by the sheet. They have different backgrounds and such. Anyway I was going to give him one for his birthday from each of the girls, but he took one before I even paid for them! they were like $40.00 for each child not the normal $12.00 or so. Anyway I asked him about it because the kids told me he took one. Heaven forbid that I should ever talk to him because he is constantly in fight mode.
kat
Well he should have asked, but my H just did that too! Since you were going to give him 2 from the girls for his birthday, maybe just give them one in a nice frame from them? He's still getting the 2 you were going to give him anyway? And if he does it again and you weren't going to give them to him, just email him, you took one of the $40 pictures, you need to reimburse me for $40 or return it giving him the choice like I do the kids. Karen
He took a biger one than I was planning, those were going to Grandparents (even though I am not talking to one set). He just assumes and we all know what that makes him. I did ask for him to return it once I realized what size he took. If it had been a wallet size, no big deal but he took a larger one.
I was feeling pretty good today and now I have let him get under my skin. I am going to shake this off, he doesn't deserve any feelings from me. But I also know that I can't ignore it. My "B" lawyer has all of my paperwork, including the divorce decree, for the bankruptcy. I will need to go over it again(yes I finally did look at it)once I get it back. UUGGGHH
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
I suppose I have simply postponed the inevitable discussion for now. I emailed him that I didn't want to make any changes right now, that I had alot to deal with without trying to sort this out at the moment. He replied, "perhaps we can sit down and discuss 1st of June?" I said perhaps.
Also did something out of character for me. Heard something on the radio and straight away was getting mad at flirt guy for not being at the same place as I. I was ready to just shut it all down. I stopped myself and said wait a minute, you just had a decent chat about all of this and you are creating drama where there needn't be any. Quit making assumptions and jumping to conclusions. You, yourself are the problem here.
I don't think I could have done that even a few months ago. I see that as progress. I am growing.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Let's just move that out to 2019 shall we and there won't be any kid issues to deal with except for college tuition! Oh, I wish!!
Just being bad at work and sitting here taking a break. I feel as if I am constantly juggling and the priorities keep changing. This is life intensified! I am going to make myself calm down again and deal with one major issue at a time. My parents are leaving for a 3 week vacation on Friday. Almost feel like a kid again and feeling a breeze called Freedom...um, except I have these little people who still need to go to school, work etc. It was a nice thought for a moment. I have to go to their house 2 to 3 times a week to feed their bird and cats. Joy.
That gets me almost to the end of May and the 1st anniversary that I will have when I am actually not married. I think, I will be fine.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
I know you will be!!! OK, ? for you. I found a mover (he quoted me $325 for my whole house and maybe an extra 20 or so he said b/c of the stairs. Isn't that great? I just have to pack it all up. He said he could pack it up in a day, but that would be too $$ I think. He was recommended by my C, moved her mom. He said he had Wednesday, Thursday and Friday next week. Do you think I should go with Wed. or Friday? Do you think I can pack up my stuff (95% of it left to go) by Wednesday or just go with Friday. I'm also worried with the foreclosure, maybe I should just try for Wed. and pull an all-nighter or something? What do you think??? Karen
Karen
What are you up to??? Karen