Alrighty. I agree b/c even I experience it when I'm in contact with H so I do agree that no contact is the best bet. Not really sure how to do this though with H having the child with OW. I will definitely need God's guidance with this one.
Well, He just sent you two boats. Let us know when the third one comes along.
What if you always pick up the child with H? Or, the emails get sent to YOU and you get the info. to H (emails requiring child info.)? Or, like has been said, get a third party to do the exchange, like another family member or close friend. The OW does not need to SEE H, just give the child to him and give info to him, and that he can get through someone else.
If he doesn't have "no contact" the chances are slim that he will be able to love you like he should. He needs to go through withdrawal of the OW drug.
Whatdidido, last week H did in fact mention that we could be picking up his son together. So I think if or when we get to coming up with a plan that could very well be on the table. I'm just still concerned about illnesses, etc. How to deal with the contact and H getting updated. I was thinking that OW could set up a bank account too that H could deposit money into for son. I think that would be a great tracking system as well. So will see if we get to seriously making plans.
I'm working on going dark again. Didn't speak to H since Monday morning. And will keep continue GALing and living my life again. I know H is missin me so I really don't want to turn lights on full bright. Will keep you guys updated.
BTW, can I just say again that I just love my MIL. Last night I was speaking to her and telling her that H is going around telling people that he's coming back home and I told her that he can't just walk back in here just like that. And she said, nope. She even said that maybe even my mom and her and FIL may need to meet with H and I to have a serious talk. I don't know if we will do that. Is it advisable or just leave this between H and I? But in any event, I just love the support I get from my in-laws. I can truly say that all of H's brothers and sisters and parents support me on this. I am truly blessed in that respect.
Eh, my opinion (based on my more negative experience) is that involving others in your M can have negative side effects. You don't want the pressure or disapproval forcing someone back. They need to decide on their own.
Ultimately whatever is decided is between you and your H. Everyone can have opinions - but the only two that matter are yours and his.
"You can't reason someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves into."
Thanks, DCBH. I will take your advice. It's funny how our intuition tells us what's right or wrong. I do think this is something H and I will need to work out by ourselves. They can support but we need to come to agreement on certain things along.
I agree too. I think part of the point of not pursuing and going dim is to take away any of the pressure, and getting them involved would be putting more pressure on. I think you're doing good again. If you feel tempted to contact him or something post here instead!!! Karen
