As far as your three 180"s - the first one is a no-brainer -- being the best dad you can be has nothing to do with your W or your M, and everything to do with you and your children.
As far as "being helpful", I think that if it's something in regard to your children, go for it. But other than that, I'd back off. She needs to "get" what life without you is like. I know there's a fine line, don't let her use you. She doesn't respect you, I don't know how long that's been the case, but that's a HUGE problem. Women closely equate love and respect, and have a hard time loving a man that doesn't earn their respect. She's throwing you crumbs - don't you want a whole piece of cake, and not crumbs?
I understand about the communication 180 - but I would keep not initiating, and keeping interactions short, but pleasant. Talk to her like you'd talk to a neighbor, friendly, casual, etc.
You need to show her STRENGTH and COMPOSURE. Be a strong, confident, MAN.
And yes, you can do it. Everyone on this site has had their hearts shattered, and life turned upside down, just like you.
What is something positive that happened for you today?
Glad to hear from you. Thank you for the response I will use these three 180's with your advice.
For what it is worth she has texted me nine times over the last two days, most of it child related but a couple of others thrown in that really did not require texting. I went home to pick up the children for dinner and stay over, I put a nice shirt and trousers on, some after shave etc, she did not utter a word which I did not expect. She was communitative without being friendly and she all the time I was there I tried to initiate eye contact, but she never did once. She kept her head down all the time.
Bomb dropped: 19/12/08 Me:48 WAW:41 D:10 S:6 Married: 15 years
MHP, Reading over your 180s could it be your Ws LLS are AOS and WOA? If so learn to address those issues to connect with your W. To help yourself when you feel overwhelmed make a list of things you are grateful for. Remember this is not permanent and you are loved. My mantra became "I can handle it." Strength and Honor. Cheers Coach
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
