While I'm a big fan of INTERNAL deadlines (setting in your own mind a point after which you're done), I don't believe in communicating them to a wayward spouse. The reason is, if you say "You have until the 4th of July to let me know that you want to work on this marriage," then she will cake-eat until July 3rd, and then promise you the moon and the stars on 7/3 in order to stave off the executioner.
Think "terrorists and withdrawal deadlines" -- same concept.
I've always heard that the best thing to tell someone like your wife is "Please hurry, because my patience won't last forever," and to set YOURSELF a deadline, but to NOT let her know what it is.
