Thank you Tia and MB! Today was the day. My D is final, but the games have begun.
So once the D was filed, XH was going to pick up the paperwork from my atty and waive his right to contest-this was so we could get it over with. Remember-he is supposed to get remairried. He sends me a text the night before and asks me if I would ever take him back-I said no.
Then he says he doesn't want the D-he is lonely. Am I sure now that this is what I want.
WTF?!!! He just told me he is getting remarried. He has been a complete ass and a cheater the entire marriage. While I was pregnant and throughout the entire first year of our son's life. Now he wants to resist and he tries to use my son as a bargaining tool. He had a trip planned outside our custody agreement for May. I said it was fine, then he said ooops-I meant April. He just took him for a week in the beginning of the month. I resisted. He said he would fight for custody-I relented. Then the swine flu out break then he tried to change plans on me last minute and I said no. He cannot just change plans and travel to Hawaii when the agreed upon place was Cali. We went back and forth and he said-well I could have lied and taken him anyway without telling you.
I told him if he ever did that he would be in violation of a court order and I would have his ass arrested.
Today he leaves for his trip, sans our son. We worked out where he could have S 2 weekends in a row when he gets back since he will miss his weekend. But Mother's Day is my day. Then he txts me and tries to be an [censored] and say that I am denying him his kid because of mothers day and that I shouldn't have memorial day because it is his weekend, blah blah blah.
He threatens again about custody. He wants 50/50. I am livid. Today the D is final and I feel like he is using my son to have leverage and control still in my life. I have tried very hard to foster a relationship with him and his son and have been more than accomodating. All he has to do is ask and I let him see and spend time with his boy. Now he is attacking me all the time about this. He will miss his weekend, and according to the D papers, if he misses his weekend, oh well-but I decided to make it up to him.
I am not sure how to handle this. I am finally D'ed from him, but he is using my son. Is this a power thing for him? How does one neutralize the situation. For the record, XH has been diagnosed with Antisocial personality disorder and I suspect he is NPD as well. I did not want a long drawn out custody dispute to spare the ugly details and my wallet. He was also kicked out of the military for unethical behavior. I know that if we went to court that stuff goes in my favor-but he is a pathological liar-and charming and persuassive. I know he has spread a bunch of lies to his family about me already. He is now the poor victim in all of this-but they have seen the way he has treated me for years!
Oh well-sorry for the long rant. I thought when this day came, there would be some peace, but I was sadly mistaken.
