Yes, you were the wimpy clingy husband, glad to remove any doubt for you No, I am not kidding...
Good idea to tell her that you are taking her out to dinner. At dinner, tell her that when she gets home she will take her clothes of and you will be giving her two orgasms by whatever non-IC means work best for her. Tell her after that, you will consider whether or not you want to bring your penis into the activities.
Make a hot sexual experience for her the single goal of the advances and anything that happens. If you can go into it with that attitude, you may have some success. If you go into it with the attitude of a long-deprived husband who is owed a lay, all you will do is go backwards, even if you manage to get laid.
No, I am not kidding...
