I've spent a lot time working on forgiving my father, my former husband and have been rewarded on various levels. It's alright to be mad about things as long as I realize the difference between reacting and hiding from it versus taking action.
In the most recent spat with ex, I got upset about an action he'd taken and started typing a note justifying everything I'd done to resolve the issue. It hit me.. BAM! Fix it, don't quibble. The only thing I can control is what is an arm's length in front of me. The rest is beyond me. It's only by action is it resolved.
If I react.. I falter. If I act, I move forward.
And I think it's about time I start work on forgiving MY self. Wouldn't that be wonderful!
When I heard the dire news about my dad, tears started trailing down my cheeks. To finally have reached a point where I'd want to see him again and have it come close to be taken away. It was a poignant moment.. with its own quiet joy that I wanted a relationship with him.
A good friend from college told me that I was always competitive but if someone pushed back at me, I'd disappear. It's an interesting perspective and something to keep in the back of my mind.
