The thing is, I want my kids to have their innocence/faith/hope as long as possible. Even though mine has gotten me into trouble with unfulfilled dreams, I am glad I am so faithful/hopeful compared to the alternative.
I want my kids to believe that the characters at Disney World are REAL (and they do)...same with Santa, Easter Bunny, etc etc. I want them to hold on to that as long as they can b/c once its gone, its gone.
One thing I still hate most about our M situation is it has forced me to lose my innocence. I genuinely thought we were 'forever', and only us for each other...the first time I found out H had cheated on me, that is what devastated me, that we could never un-ring the bell, we could never again say we were the only ones for each other. (We were both virgins when we started dating, and waited 2 1/2 yrs...)
So to watch my son and daughter lose their belief that mommies and daddies stay together forever, is the most awful part. That is what will harden my heart toward Dan...I don't think he realizes that. He thinks I will always be here b/c I always have been here, but once I see that scarring on my kids' hearts, I think the door will be locked...
