These are very individual situations, and the advice that you have been following has mostly, I think anyway, to use while the walk away is walking away, or in the A. The advice about respecting yourself and your M and not being a doormat will always apply.

I think that you have every right to ask her to stop contacting him... AT ALL, if she wants to reconcile, and you do too. I have a feeling that if she truly does want to come home, this whole episode will be very shameful for her and she will stop contacting him on her own. But she might not be ready for that just yet, is it still and emotional affair? You have to figure out what this is satisfying for her.

It sounds like you have been having some really nice times together, as a family. Maybe you should just focus on that for now.

I guess I gave the wrong finger to the wrong man...