Well please ignore everything in that last post. I just got overwhelmed and panicked. I don't think my wife's relationship with this guy pre-dated her asking for a divorce. We just have a very strange situation. Everyone I know keeps telling me I heed to move on. A friend of my wife called me the other day and told me "you need to realize your marriage is over." It is so frustrating since, particularly now, we are together fairly regularly and have a great time together. We hang out, have fun, and then she goes off on a date. And I know some people will say I need to stop doing that with her, but my gut tells me I will not accomplish anything by going dark. She just has it set in her mind that we need to sell the house and the divorce needs to be finalized and she will not waver. Yesterday she told me it was ok for me to claim the kids as dependents going forward. She really seems not to care very much about the money. She has told me I can keep 75% of the furniture and stuff. She also told me the other day that she "hated me when she did this. Otherwise she would never have been able to do it." It just seems like now she is over the hatred and anger. She sees that since my diagnosis and treatment I am physically a different person, but she just will not consider an alternative route. We have to get a divorce and sell the house. She says that there is a separation between us and that she just can't get past it.
I still love her.
Do I keep going? If so, should I go dark or just continue to be positive and upbeat and keep it light and breezy? Should I act like I too am ready to start dating to get her thinking about that? The one rule I keep breaking is future talk. We've been discussing where we are each going to live when the divorce is final, her business she is opening, how we are going to handle the kids. I don't think it is too big a deal.
I know I have been all over the place, but I really could use some help.
