Newcomer, want to keep my hope alive!

[iwantittowork]

Day 2:

I am writing this at the beginning of day 3, but as I have woken up the last couple of days, oddly at peace and and not scared or fearful as I had expected to be.

From my plan for day 2, I mixed up my life bit, even little things, I parked in a completely different parking spot at work, on a different level. Little shakups like this seem to help with my frame of mind, I am looking at a new path for myself, and more determined than I ever have been in the past to make positive changes.

I setup dinner plans for tonight with 2 old co-workers/friends that I have not seen in a couple years, I can't wait to talk to them for couple hours over a good dinner. I told my W last night not to expect me home for dinner, as I would be late coming home.

I again talked with a stranger, at the gym last night, after changing, I just started talking to the other guy in the room about working out. Turns out, he was from India, and worked across the street as a scientist at a Biotech firm. Interesting stuff! I am really digging this interaction with strangers, and recommend people try it if they have not.

My W was late getting home last night, but I didn't ask where she had been, although it was on our calendar, and she had our D with her. I did have some light talk with her about the day, but then realized I keep letting her finish the conversation. I need to work on that.

Things of note:
A couple of odd things happened with the W yesterday, I want to write about, and maybe get some opinions. I refuse to read to much into them though, and just want to note them for future reference.

My W called me at work today to let me know the building inspector had come by the house to ask about some renovation we had been doing and if we had a permit. This is highly unusual for her, in our 15 years together, she has maybe called me at work 5 times, and always for serious stuff. She may have thought this was serious to her, so I again, don't want to read too much into it.

At Bedtime, I had turned on the TV to catch a bit of the Red Sox game, and she came to bed as well, stating she was stressed and tired. I slipped up here a bit, and asked her why she was stressed, but after her brief answer of work/life, etc, I let it drop. I asked her if she was going to sleep, she said yes, so I said I would go downstairs and watch TV with the boys. She said after a couple seconds, it would be ok for me to watch it in bed, but I told her I would rather she get a good night sleep, and turned the light off and went downstairs.

This morning, I went in to work late, to stop at the Town Hall and pickup a permit, which the W and I both joked a bit about, knowing the town is really only just looking for the 50 dollar fee, and not really interested in the roof repair.

She also grilled me a bit on where I had been two nights ago, getting home a little late from stopping at the bar to watch the red sox game. I tried to just limit what I said, but won't ever lie to her, so just said I stopped at the bar to watch the game for a bit.

She left for work and seemed irritated, moving really quickly around the house, and I heard something get knocked off the bathroom counter. I decided to stay out of the way, and not ask a thing, wishing her the best day she could have as she went out the door.