I need to let him figure his stuff out.... its hard..I want to be the fixer..its my nature.
But, I know until he is done with her and over it..I will continue to be hurt.
Thx Puppy I read your thread... sorry for what you are going thru.. your an amazing man ..and thru all your personal pain, you continue to be the backbone for everyone else.
Thanks for sharing the news! As Puppy says, stay detached, see where it leads. Remember your emotions are on alert right now, this is a baby step. Validate his communications and build baby steps before running full steam ahead. Your role is to become his confidant. Be a friend, not a spouse. Build a new relationship from there.
Your H, has a ton of crap going on in his head. Just as DB suggests we get our own houses in order, your H needs to do the same BEFORE he returns home. What you said about him figuring himself out is exactly correct.
Thank you for caring. I hate to say anything ...didnt want to jinx the situation.
Hubby is in his own apartment..Says he is working on himself..thats a huge area I just dont understand... whatever he is working on is deep within his head.
I know when he originally moved out away from ow..he still had some contact with her... what he tells me with that is limited. I need for him to have zero..he keeps saying he will block her number when I ask..but has yet to prove to me that he has... for that I am skeptical..dont understand why.
We have had some wonderful times together..took the kids kite flying ..and to lunch... we went to the waterfront last weekend and kids played in the water and we relaxed with friends.. things do seem natural and like old times...yet I still dont have a grasp on her...
He says he doesnt love her..its the shes a younger woman that told me how wonderful I was and it was different...
She is pshyco crazy... last weekend he stayed at my house...she freaking texted me at 415 AM..telling me i was his second choice.that he had asked her to come over.
My mind plays games with me on that...is she saying it to piss me off..make us fight ..because had he really asked her to stay with him..she would have...right? We had great conversations that morning..I am chosing to believe him... Im not stupid..but I think she is vindictive..he didnt have to come to my house and stay..he had stopped in town..huge festival going on. He could have easily stayed with his guy friends and partied all night.
She had to drive 20 minutes from her house to drive by mine to see his car....STALKER!
She called in sick to work and texted me 11 times... ugh .. I want her out of our life..I want my family back....
On a good note, he has treated me great.. We are both in counseling and taking things slowly. I've always said he is my best friend..I enjoy doing things with him.
Just sooooo... scared he is going to break my heart.
We are going out of town for three days..as a family. Taking the kids to the ocean..play during the day..then we can put them to sleep and go downstairs and gample..its a casino hotel.
I am more than excited!
Taking things slow... would love to have him home...miss not seeing him daily! But we need to do what is right for him to make sure he does not do this again.
I need to finish posting the update for this weekend, but I HAD to get some school work done, first. I dropped a class today and added a different one--the week runs Weds. to Tues., so right now I am a week behind in that class and will not get my books for another 2 days. Wait til you here the irony of it--I have been trying to get into this class for 6 terms, this is the last time it is offered before I grad in October, and the class is Family Law and Divorce Mediation.
Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~ SMW
M40/H36 T16/M14 4K B2/08 S4/08 current
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7
