Lan - I'm hardly on these days, but just caught up on 3 pages of your thread. Good on you for outing and I'm not debating the wrongs and rights of it, but when you've been as good, understanding and patient as you have, I feel it's best to 'know' what your up against. I also think this is no longer helping you and your health and may be in your long term interest to call it quits. (buts that's me, it's yours and only ever your choice).
My W was also more concerned with the how I found out and how I was wrong to be snooping rather than the fact she was having A's. That is again a defence mechanism, their turning it round on you in that you dont have the right etc. Presumably, like me, you know her so well and things are a give away. I think it's very hard to hide something like an A for to long from a partner as you just know by chnages in them.
I'll try and keep up whilst your going through this and offer whatever advice I can. good luck to you buddy and it's really time to look after you now. I know you will always look after D7 first and foremost but please look after you.
Also, skint and happy is a better place, please believe me. I am in that place and yes I miss the daily interactions with my boys beyond belief, but I'm doing the best I can for me and make my time with them as special as I can be. I know the first chapter says about how kids cope/don't cope etc, but that is not for your conscionce, that is for your W to deal with in time and believe me she will. I do not believe my W for one moment wants us to get together (we wont btw, that is never happening in my mind), but she is certainly showing weird signs of late. Not of regret necessarily but I think of the grass is not greener.
