Thanks for your reply, DQ. I appreciate your point of view on this. I did read your initial post about affairs where ILY is said within the first month. He also told her that she would be his bride. Unbelievable!
As far as them both being addicts, I have a bit more hope on that front. My H is very active in AA and I know that many of his AA comrades realize what is going on with him. He's still going to a lot of meetings - so hopefully, he will come to his senses sooner than later.
There's also his lifestyle that is severely compromised. He has no money and is in constant stress about it. He's lost a huge amount of weight and looks awful.
As far as going dark, I have been doing that much, much more. But there is occasional contact about our pets, house and finances. I feel that in my particular sitch, it is best to go mostly dark, but on occasions when I do see him (few and far between) follow the advice of my DB coach and act upbeat, positive and very together.
Today is a particularly horrible day for me. Woke up very, very depressed and despondent. I am trying to move on - joined al-anon, got a sponsor, trying to work on myself. But I just miss him so, so much.
