having an icky day... fighting the useless thoughts, thinking of the last days before he left the first time in 06...(well, he had already gotten an apartment weeks before that and took most of his stuff without me knowing), what he said, what I could've said...if only I had said... But then I remembered, even if things went down hill in less than weeks before I found out he was leaving, he was a liar longer than that, like that huge check he got and he hid it from me, spending the whole thing on him even as I was pregnant and checking yard sales to outfit the nursery when my d6 was about to be born, he never took us out somewhere nice, never bought anything for her... the 100's he spent on hidden prepaid phones, even as I stuck to his budget and didnt' even take my son to Mcdonalds.... he lost his way loooong before he left and at the time things were "ok" in my eyes, he turned into a slime ball long before he left and I can't blame myself for that.
Well, I'll feel better later I guess...I do get my sweeties today
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
