Things have been so great lately. I am so happy to have this chance at piecing.I hope we make it last.
I have still been struggleing with the distance many of my friends have been showing me. The girls I used to hang with every week are now just people I see every now and then (maybe once a month at best). It stinks. They dont like my H and he has all new friends that keep him really busy. So I feel so torn.
My H has been drinking pretty heavily again lately. It is scarey but at the same time it seems different than his old ragefull drinking binges. Right now he is happy and just so freaking popular in our town that every one calls him to go get drinks. He has no will power to say no. So he is binging but he has also been telling me that he has no interest in anyone else and that he is faithfull to me. He tries to reassure me that its always a suasage fest and that he missed me.
Last night I kind of got mad at him going out again.I told him that it makes me feel like I am just this person that is standing between him and what he really wants to be doing (and that would be drinking at a bar). I stopped myself though and said "dont worry I will just keep myself busy, and we will see each other - whenever", then I walked away and said I didnt want to have this conversation when he is drunk.
Every time I do GAL activities that are healthy - I have to worry about him ALWAYS going out to the bars. I never know who he is with or what he is doing at the bars for so long - but he will spend all night there until I come home and call. It stinks. It makes me feel like I dont want to go out and do my own thing for fear of loosing him to the bar scene again.
