Holding onto Hope

[In Limbo]

Sandi,

Thanks for posting back. I was about to give up on hearing from anyone. Maybe my posts are too long or too uninteresting?

I have continued to DB as best I know. I have not asked about OW and have not brought up the relationship. He left again today without his suitcase and I did not ask him anything. Things have cooled off a bit the past two days and I'm thinking his conscience is getting to him. My being so supportive and positive may make him feel guilty for wanting to leave? He is more withdrawn (more silence, less physical touch and no ILY's when he's leaving) and I'm waiting for something to drop, but trying not try to figure it out. I've been 100% supportive and positive and have not said anything negative to him at all. My only blunder I can think of is asking him if something was wrong when suddenly he became more withdrawn. He said no and I said ok and went on my way (kicking myself silently for blowing that one).

I've used a technique that I saw on someone else's post and that's to write down my questions, my comebacks and what I want to say to him but then hold on to it and not give it to him. It gives me some release and I've found if I can read over it a day later it is clear that it would not have been good to actually say those things.

He has told me that one of our problems was that he felt I supported him well during crisis times, but other times was not there for him emotionally and so he detached. So now he's using that as the reason for why things are going well. Any suggestions on how to show a 180 in this area, something unrelated to the crisis where I can be there for him in a way that would not be pursuing?

I'm trying hard to take care of myself. I'm still losing weight and eating better. Sleep has been difficult, as it is for so many going thru this. Been having more fun with the boys and such. Didn't get to the YMCA to join yesterday as planned, but will go this weekend and the rest of the week is busy with kid stuff.

I hope your health is improving and that you too take care of yourself.